goodandevil

The Evil | Stone Cold Solicitors

I took my dog for a walk around the block today, and saw something I’ve seen before but the sight again today made my blood boil enough to write about.

In my neighborhood someone drives around with little sandwich bags full of rocks. Not pebbles but full-fledged landscaping rocks. Next to the rocks they slip an advertisement for a service they offer, like windows or lawn work, what have you. and using the rocks as a weight they chuck the whole package into your yard.

It’s one thing if they stuck to the easement; technically that’s city property but I’m still responsible for keeping it clear, so that’s annoying. They throw it in your driveway, which means you could step on it or drive over it. Every time I see one I want to pick it up and slam it square under someone’s tire so they wonder what the heck is going on and call the number and flip out.

It just feels so invasive, it’s basically littering, and it’s a dumb business tactic because my first impression is that they’re not that bright and just out to make money as a first priority over treating their customer properly or providing a decent service.

Believe me, if I want my windows re-done or my lawn taken care of - I live in Florida, and those choices matter. I’ll find you or I’ll have heard of you without you needing to fling things at my house.

My other fantasy is a bit more obvious, and that’s to collect them all and dump them back in the yard of whoever they came from. It’s like the people that hang things on your mailbox or leave tickets and collars on your door. Trespassing isn’t something civil people do, and anyone but the mail lady putting things in my mailbox is? You guessed it, a felony.

Nobody likes being spammed in the physical world. If I meet you in real life I’ll treat you just like I intend to treat the guy that sits at home creating trojans and worms that take four hours to get off of your computer. I’ll give you a hint: his reproductive abilities will not be nearly as prolific as the viruses he programs.

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