Oct 26 2008
You Can’t Fix Stupid
Stupid Move #1: Switching to single-ply toilet paper to cut costs.
Why You’re Stupid: I will use twice as much to regain control of my sanitary needs.
Stupid Move #2: Funding a bad movie everyone knows is garbage Why You’re Stupid: There is such a thing as throwing money away, and you doing favors for your friends isn’t nearly as important as where that money could’ve gone.
Stupid Move #3: Saying “change the habit” after someone explains a behavior was “force of habit.”
Why You’re Stupid: It’s called force of habit.
Stupid Move #4: Caring about petty things and attacking people over them.
Why You’re Stupid: Life is too short, and even if it isn’t, wouldn’t you like to be someone interesting?
Stupid Move #5: A citizen of the United States complaining about the French.
Why You’re Stupid: The Revolutionary War didn’t end itself.
Stupid Move #6: Putting your child on a leash.
Why You’re Stupid: It’s a leash. It’s a child.
Stupid Move #7: Providing a smoker “facts” in an attempt to get them to quit.
Why You’re Stupid: Addiction isn’t an intellectual decision. If education was an affective tool to combat vice, then 90% of the people who have sex would know thee basic anatomy of their own parts, which they don’t.
Stupid Move #8: Bringing a little kid to go see The Dark Knight.
Why You’re Stupid: There were adults that were scared by the Joker, the violence, the volume, etc. Also, the ratings board told you not to bring them.
Stupid Move #9: Showing people pictures of orbs and claiming them as ghosts and expecting people to care.
Why You’re Stupid: That’s not a ghost and even if it is, no one finds visual appeal in a dot. Show me a scary wedding dress in tatters, or someone headless, or a hovering blob, anything. Just don’t use up lots of your free time going on hunts with your little “society” if you have no legitimate evidence.
Stupid Move #10: Asking to be hired as a sign spinner and sitting down doing nothing.
Why You’re Stupid: Other people willing to actually go out and do the job need and deserve the money more than you.
