Oct 20 2008
The Bullseye, in a Bull’s Eye
The Evil Part of Good | Indulgence
People think more highly of me than they should, and as a result those same people think I’m above certain interests and temptations. I possess strong opinions, and perhaps I stick staunchly to my own little moral compass, but I assure you, much as I have difficulty accepting it, I’m human.
I’m really good at it, too. One major example of this is my sporadic inability to avoid sounding like a corporate shill.
Thing is, I love food. I love eating it, now I love making it, and I’ve always been a curious and experimental person. Which is why it’s nice to see a brand like Archer Farms going out of their way to both appease and amuse me.
For the seven people unaware, Archer Farms is the so-called “premium” line of packaged groceries sold at SuperTarget. While there may be a small literal premium on the expense of acquiring one of their products, I assure you the entertainment factor makes the experience valuable. Where other grocery stores might concern themselves with things like supply and demand, Target is simply out to make sure that every last preference on the planet is met.
Don’t believe me?
Basically, the formula for developing an Archer Farms product is this: First, pick a type of food you’re hungry for. Got it? Good. Now, imagine there was some flavor, some interpretation, some way you could treat that food that would be absolutely delicious, but you imagine you’ll never taste this dream concoction because no one’s going to go out of their way to make it for you. Done? All right, one last thing. Pick three equally tempting kinds of foods - no need to worry about chemistry, here - and blend them into some glorious, hideous cocktail.
If your answer was something like “buffalo-style macaroni and cheese with blue-cheese crumbles, Swiss chard, rosemary, thyme, and oregano,” you’re getting warmer.
If, however, you’ve come to the realization that the aforementioned product is an Archer Farms cookie, congratulations. You’re one of us now.
Dude, a corporate shill is better than pretentious bore. Not to say you have ever really been the former, nor myself the later; still, people love a good spokesperson (”Can you hear me now?” BS and all), while they often feel threatened to find someone’s built their life around an alien concept (like how the uninformed are scared off by Muslims and that impenetrable Quran).
What I’m sayin’ is: don’t front like you feel guilty for your indulgences. Because you shouldn’t feel guilty, man–you’ve earned ‘em.